I Gave My Heart Away

Feb 27th 2011

Today, I came across something new.

I feel it doesn't like me much.

Perhaps it was just having a bad day.

It was so beautiful. 

I couldn't help but stare when my eyes looked upon it. 

Emotion stirred in soul.  

I climbed down the rocks for a closer encounter.

It blew it's salty sea air and it blasted my face.

I didn't expect this type of greeting from my pacific friend.

As I came closer, it blew even harder. 

It was as if it was trying to tell me something. 

"Stay away". 

But I couldn't. 

The more I looked at it the harder it blew....

I was falling in love.  

My heart longed to get closer. To touch this magnificent mass. 

I stepped closer yet. Ocean spray, pelting my face. 

I stopped. I waited.  

Little by little it slowly came closer and then would draw back again. Hesitant. Nervous. 

Finally the water made it up the beach to the place where I stood. 

I couldn't help myself.

I leaned over and gently touched part of this cold, briny deep. 

The clear water retreated back as soon as I made contact with it. 

As if it was nervous. This didn't matter to me though. 

Suddenly everything came together in my mind. 

Every gust of wind I now saw as a sign of love. Not hate. 

It was showing me how intense it's love for me really was. 

I let my hair down and allowed the wind to whip it around my face. I took a deep breath and inhaled some salty air. 

This is what love is. 

My soul was singing! I couldn't keep the smile off my face. 

I danced in circles on the beach. Twirling around and around. 

I had fallen in love. 

Knowing that I wouldn't be with it for long and that I had to go home, so far away from my new love, I treasured every moment on that beach.

I swooped down and scooped up a handful of sand. I needed a piece of the coast with me while I'm gone. 

I wondered around the beach for a while longer and just took it all in. 

My beautiful love was so immense! So incredibly great. And I was in love with it all. 

As the time came for me to say goodbye, I took one last glance, blew a kiss, turned my back and walked away. 

I've fallen in love with the ocean. 

And I'm not sure what to do. 

Fully Alive

A few months ago in church, we were reading the story of Jesus and Lazarus.

  Jesus comes to his friends house only to find that His friend is already dead.

 Lazarus was someone that Jesus loved deeply and was heartbroken when he found him in the tomb. 

So He raises him from the dead. 

 That's just a brief summary of the story. There's a lot more to it. 

I would suggest you go and read it so you get the whole thing in John 11.

  Anyway. 

  We were reading this story and a thought came to me.  

We are all a Lazarus. 

God loves us all just as Jesus loved Lazarus. But we all are dead before we come to know Jesus.  And Jesus has called us forth from death. Out of the grave. 

Jesus says in John 10:10

  "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."  He makes us FULLY ALIVE in HIM! 

  This is a song that I wrote shortly after. 

Fully Alive

I was dead and buried in my sin

I was dead from the inside out

I was cold, alone and in the ground

Until I heard Your voice call out

You say

"I give life

Because I am life

Open the tomb, come forth"

Oh, it's a beautiful thing that You've done for me

It's a beautiful gift that You gave

It's a beautiful thing that You've done for me

And now my heart can't stay in the grave

Now I'm fully alive

Fully alive

I am thriving in Jesus Christ

No need for old grave clothes

You've wrapped me up in righteousness

No more musty old darkness 

I have seen Your light

No turning back 

Oh, it's a beautiful thing that You've done for me

It's a beautiful gift that You gave

It's a beautiful thing that You've done for me

And now my heart can't stay in the grave

Now I'm fully alive 

Fully alive

I am thriving in Jesus Christ

Mister Cold

          When I was out in Portland a few weeks ago, the weather was nice.    At least for the first few days. Then came the snow and the 20 degree air. I was so depressed. Why did it have to be like this? I got enough of this at home. You would think that after I came all this way to a state that gets snow only a few times a year, I would have gotten away from the white slush and bitter sting of wind chill. Yet, here I was. Freezing cold toes and just plain cranky. The Oregonian friends of ours made fun of me. 

"You live in Minnesota. You should be used to this!". 

I just want to say that just because one lives in a state where the weather is below freezing almost 5 months out of the year, doesn't mean that one "gets used to it" or for that matter has to like it. Cold weather is just that. 

COLD. WEATHER.

 I'm pretty sure that our bodies were not made for it, therefore I haven't gotten used to it and in fact...I think I hate it. 

:)

 That being said, here's a silly little poem about a stalker. 

Enjoy.

                       2-25-2011

The cold haunts me

He knows where I go

I can't get away from him

He follows me to and fro

I came to get away

Thinking it would work

I have had enough of Him

Our story could be a book

Cold is a stalker that I just can't shake

I can't run, I can't hide

He fills my dreams and makes me cry

He always goes for my toes

Then moves to the fingers and nose

I need protection from this madness

I just need to be left alone.

I feel like he knows I hate him

So he tries to punish me this way

Well it's working just fine

He attacks. Every. Single. Day. 

Who can save me from his bite?

I feel that whatever I do, fails. 

I fear he will never leave me

And one day I'll slow to a crawl like a snail

Till he wins completely and I freeze all the way through

His plan will be completed and nothing will be new

The world will become a big cube of ice

Everyone will be chilled to the bone 

And no one will be nice

We will all be cold

And at each other nip.

Snap, bite, hiss and growl

This is how the world will fall

The end is near

Brace yourself

He comes the cold

 Embrace it, do not fear. 

Friends Don't Let Friends Fly

    So a few weeks ago I went to Portland, Oregon with my sister Laura. We took the Amtrak train from Minneapolis to Portland. We got to the station about 11:30 pm only to find out that our train was delayed about another hour. We found a nice spot on the floor and I got bored and started writing.

 2-17-2011

Sitting at the station

Waiting for the train

People all around

That guy has a cane

I wanna go far away

I am hoping that this trip 

Will bring my heart adventure

Sitting at the station 

I wonder what's to come

My toes are frozen

All I brought was TOMS

"Sorry, that's my weird cousin"

I hear a beer slurred voice

I can't help thinking he's been

To the bar once or twice....tonight

Little children run about

Restless, yet we all know

That is about twenty minutes

They'll all crash, dead to this world

Sitting in the station 

I hear a faint and distant sound

A sort of rumbling that grows louder

Soon, so hard it pounds

The train has come

And it's time for me

To say my last goodbye 

To this station that held me warm

It's time to step outside

   The trip was 48 hours long and was one of the best traveling experiences that I've ever had. We watched the country side past by through the huge windows as we just chugged along. Again, I pulled out my journal.


2-18-2011
   Across the country I travel. By way of train. I can now see why people love this. It's cold out there. But then, It is February. What did I expect? Everything is white. Everything. Even the sun, as it attempts to shine through the heavy clouds. Snow is blowing everywhere. It's hard to see out the window. And sitting here in the cozy warm train car, I shudder to think of how cold those deer wolves, birds, and cattle all are surviving in this Narnia. The train chugs on, and with it the anticipation for what's to come. Bouncing and rocking back and forth, You're almost thrown into a trance. A day dream that is oh, so vivid. The mind is blown away by the sights it sees. Through prairies, hills, valleys, and mountains. We pass through the occasional small town. They almost looks deserted. Families tucked way in their little town homes. Then, just as swiftly as it came into sight, we depart for the next one. How many of these tiny settlements will we pass on this trip? Roads run directly next to the tracks on which we ride. They go on for miles. Where do they lead? Surely somewhere worth while. Deer run through the prairies with such ease. As if it were the middle of Summer. Not even affected by the ice and snow beneath their hooves. Jumping and bounding cross country.  The land just goes on and on. This is AMERICA.


    We pass through North Dakota and the sun sets. The moon is full and hints the outlines of the mountains in Montana. The next day we awake to a beautiful sunrise, the river, and the woods along with mountains.
  
2-19-2011
 We travel down the track next to some of the most amazing scenes I've ever seen. It almost hurts my eyes to look away from this beauty and down at my page. The mountains are singing to me. We duck into them through the tunnels made by those who have gone before us. Blazing this trail we now ride along on. Father and son, fishing off their boat into the clear greenish-blue water. The birds over head seem to know that their job is to make this journey even better for us by dancing through the air. All of creation seems to be playing a part in making my day the most enjoyable that it possibly could be. 


 There's no better way to travel.


  Friends don't let friends fly. 

 They take the train. 

Be My Song

Jesus, beautiful melody

Come play Your piece in my heart

Holy Spirit, sweet harmony

Of this symphony, come take part 

My words cannot describe

These longings inside to unite

To be one with the master of life

Composer of each day and night

You are my song

The reason I lift my voice

My soul has made the choice

I'll sing as the days go on

Jesus, You're my song! 

Lovely, sweet, precious, complete

Jesus You're my song

In this tune of life our souls now meet

Jesus You're my song

Graciousness, love mercy and peace

Are all notes that keep perfect time

With slurs and ties they intertwine 

This masterpiece will always be mine!

Winter Song

Tired. Cold. 

Hungry. Alone. 

I am pale and weak

Where do I go? 

Who am I going to turn to?

Nowhere to go

No one to see

No one to be with

These days don't seem to end 

And spring seems like a myth

It's the winter

So sick of seeing white

Everything in sight

Covered in snow

Frost bites the windows

My nose, my toes, they all go numb

I can't feel anymore

It's the winter

This chill so cold 

It kills the soul

The wind just won't stop

Ice pelts my face

And I'm about to give up

Then I see a light

The sun has come out to play

Beautiful and bright

Shinning all around it's rays

Icicles start to drip drip drop

And at the sound my heart just stops

All of creation lets out a long anticipated sigh

And whispers   

Spring